the last thing we ever want to do in this life is hurt. hurt someone physically, mentally or emotionally. unless you want to end up on the streets in a fight. no thanks, i'm good. we don't want hurt ourselves, in any of these forms either, and we certainly don't like it when we are hurt. if you throw a punch, you'll be punched back. in this crazy thing we call life, the pain comes with the good. if we don't hurt, we can't feel love. tomorrow is my birthday. as i embark on another year of life, i think of how much i've grown as a person and learned from the many people i have surrounded myself with, some are still around, some have gone in different directions, and some have passed away, in the past year.
i have been hurt, i'm sure as many of you have been, on mulitple occasions in the past year. my guard isn't always low, it isn't as tall as the berlin wall, although on some occassions, i'd like it to be. or maybe it's just as thick and stubborn as the berlin wall. we must learn from these hinderances and from the people who have hurt us. what do we want? what do we need? what do we not want? what do we not need? we can do our best to prepare ourselves for everything that is headed our way. make a list if you need to.
i feel as if i have hurt, and it is not something i am ever proud of, and many times, its not on purpose, its just how feelings swing and sway. with question marks. and "what ifs." and even, sometimes, with circumstances that may be out of our control. we are human. God gave us the gift...okay, sometimes more of an annoyance or stressor...of thinking. although thinking can create confusion and anxiety, it can also give us clarification. clarification of the postive things we have in life: health, family, friends, a job -- and its two jobs i love, to boot. it sounds Oprah and cliche but really, we have so much to live for.
i have learned recently --mom, its the big one -- to let many [i'm not quite at all] things go -- okay mom, small steps here. if you can't live this life, and not sweat the small stuff, it's gonna be okay. find AND do things that make you happy. learn to do them well. i don't care if its gardening or the killer heels you just scored for the summer. if the flowers make you happy, grow them with love and as tall as you can. if the heels give you confidence and make you feel good, so be it. do it for yourself.
for us to have love, we have to have hurt. maybe the hurt lasts a day, a week, a month, a year, or more. everyone is different, everyone feels different, and these feelings need to be taken into consideration with not just new relationships, whether personal or friendly, but with older and pre-existing relationships as well. happiness and love is contagious, give some today. read my amazing friend libby's blog and her post on how love enhances our life. help others find love, i know people who need it, i'm sure you do too.
a very big thank you to my family and friends who have been there and supported me through my drama and this-and-that. i love you.
now, im not saying go out and be all sensitive and heart on sleeve. find a balance because in this life, a strong backbone is an important foundation. don't put up with the bs. stand up for yourself. use your head wisely.
its life, and its all we got.
the very best, always,
alexandra
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